Once again here we are, Halloween Night! It’s the end of another month, the end of another year that’s quickly approaching. Tonight, all Halloween plans were tossed out the window and instead I decided to head to the gym for a bit and then came home to write a quick blog post. I know, pretty scary stuff! Chances are that this post will make no sense. Chances are that no one will ever see this post. Well, chances are that my chances are horribly good.

I’ve been asked where I have been lately and to be completely honest I’ve been trying to find myself. The old cliché saying of finding myself as if I were a lost puppy on the side of the road. It’s not like my life is a complete shit show, I realize that there are others who have it far worse than me but at the end of the day this is my story.

Side Note: To the people judging me for feeling lost, please stay off my page and go fuck yourself with your Halloween candy.

Back at the beginning of the month I went on a much-needed vacation. I was able to visit a few cities in Italy but that’s a separate blog post, this post is about coming back.

Italy picked me up, dusted me off and in a very strange way it gave me my melody again. I feel like before I was trying to make someone else happy but myself. It became a race to find the one for me but somehow no one was ever good enough. Somehow I found everyone’s flaws but mine. Dating felt sweet but the sadness inside me was stronger than being alone.

All that sadness that was bottled up inside me melted away with every stair step that I climbed. Sometimes it takes feeling wrong, being wrong and seeing ghosts all around you to make you realize that this song is about you.

Yes, this post is also about you and now you’re left to ponder this alone. Alone on Halloween night in your Winnie the Pooh costume.

P.S. Isn’t it funny how things work out?

Rene Valdez
Living in Modern



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